The Miracle of Wanting Less and Loving More
God has changed me profoundly. I know this because my will is not my own. Although I still make choices, I do things more and more because it is the right thing to do. Either I have grown up, or God has worked a miracle on my soul.
In my old world, I used to call my work transformational. I accredited a lot of the pain and gain to myself, to my “process.” The self-help movement that I espoused brought me through many storms and heart-aches. I looked to myself both as cause and effect in some ways. Though I believed in God, I wasn’t sure if I was good enough for him. I would make strides, make changes, take big leaps, and fall big falls. I was courageous, but courage is not the same as wisdom.
In my new world, I’m walking across a bridge, from the land where I once played and performed on many stages – literally and figuratively, to a new land where God is guiding the way, where I don’t always play a significant role. Still, I feel the best I have ever felt, doing what I love behind the scenes.
I used to get excited by a new “gig,” the praise of a co-worker or boss, an honour at school, or a day off. Now I feel like a secret Santa on commission to make someone feel better. I stop to ask someone how they are, to console someone whose father is dying, to make a new friend, to help with the unpopular tasks of cleaning a kitchen or microwave, to attend a meeting for a social cause.
These little acts of kindness and care bring great rewards. They aren’t external; they’re internal. Truthfully, they’re not about me at all! They come from feeling the love from others, a simple smile or thank you, and sometimes nothing at all. Just a quiet prayer to God that “all is well.”
A quiet ride home contemplating the blessings of that day brings joy to my heart and contentment to my soul that I hadn’t experienced until I first surrendered as I walked across that bridge to my new home.
Joy and laughter come from a heart fulfilled, filled with moments of care and carefree play with children or my dog.
I am camping out in the land of God. He fills every place with his essence; his whispers to be patient; his nudge to smile; to sing, and to send our love into the world.
I didn’t do this myself. I didn’t transform by an act of will or self-knowledge. God changed me and continues to mould me in a way that I can still be who I am, without all the pain and suffering. I am working for a new cause, one that is not my own.
The rewards are higher than any prize. As God works on me, I work with God. We make a great team. He causes me to love; I am one small spark, a twinkle in his eye. I get to light up the dark spaces and bring others along for the ride.
God has worked a miracle in my soul. If he can do it for me, he can do it for you as well.