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LIFE,  SPIRITUALITY

How God Worked A Miracle In My Soul

The Miracle of Wanting Less and Loving More

God has changed me profoundly. I know this because my will is not my own. Although I still make choices, I do things more and more because it is the right thing to do. Either I have grown up, or God has worked a miracle on my soul.

In my old world, I used to call my work transformational. I accredited a lot of the pain and gain to myself, to my “process.” The self-help movement that I espoused brought me through many storms and heart-aches. I looked to myself both as cause and effect in some ways. Though I believed in God, I wasn’t sure if I was good enough for him. I would make strides, make changes, take big leaps, and fall big falls. I was courageous, but courage is not the same as wisdom.

In my new world, I’m walking across a bridge, from the land where I once played and performed on many stages – literally and figuratively, to a new land where God is guiding the way, where I don’t always play a significant role. Still, I feel the best I have ever felt, doing what I love behind the scenes.

I used to get excited by a new “gig,” the praise of a co-worker or boss, an honour at school, or a day off. Now I feel like a secret Santa on commission to make someone feel better. I stop to ask someone how they are, to console someone whose father is dying, to make a new friend, to help with the unpopular tasks of cleaning a kitchen or microwave, to attend a meeting for a social cause.

These little acts of kindness and care bring great rewards. They aren’t external; they’re internal. Truthfully, they’re not about me at all! They come from feeling the love from others, a simple smile or thank you, and sometimes nothing at all. Just a quiet prayer to God that “all is well.”

A quiet ride home contemplating the blessings of that day brings joy to my heart and contentment to my soul that I hadn’t experienced until I first surrendered as I walked across that bridge to my new home.

Joy and laughter come from a heart fulfilled, filled with moments of care and carefree play with children or my dog.

I am camping out in the land of God. He fills every place with his essence; his whispers to be patient; his nudge to smile; to sing, and to send our love into the world.

I didn’t do this myself. I didn’t transform by an act of will or self-knowledge. God changed me and continues to mould me in a way that I can still be who I am, without all the pain and suffering. I am working for a new cause, one that is not my own.

The rewards are higher than any prize. As God works on me, I work with God. We make a great team. He causes me to love; I am one small spark, a twinkle in his eye. I get to light up the dark spaces and bring others along for the ride.

God has worked a miracle in my soul. If he can do it for me, he can do it for you as well.

Krista is a poetic and spiritual soul who loves to share her wisdom and truth to uplift others. She is currently an M.Div student at Emmanuel College, University of Toronto, Canada. She publishes this blog to give you a glimpse of what is possible.

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