An excerpt from Krista’s Daily Book of Miracles, a book in progress, Copyright 2019-2020 Krista Marie Moore. Photo Credit: Private. 2019
Many of us walk around in the world wearing a mask over our heart. Maybe we don’t even know we are wearing it. We have grown so used to trying to hold it together, to be strong for others. But there comes a time when we have to let it down and feel our own heart, feel our own soul.
What is really going on? How do I feel right now? What am I forgetting to remember in this moment? What do I feel in my heart right now?
After a trauma, or a particular period of difficulty, we can get used to the pain. We can get used to suffering. We don’t even know we’re doing it, but we begin to hide it, even from ourselves. It is too difficult to look there again, to admit how we feel, when we are coping, just trying to get through.
It may seem on the outside that everything looks OK, but on the inside something doesn’t feel right. You may feel actual pain in your heart area, or it may just be like a pressure, a sadness, or a tension. Whatever you are feeling, go there. Go deep inside and feel the sadness, feel the pain, feel the excitement. Whatever you are feeling. Allow it.
Many of us have been taught to disobey our own heart. We have been taught to obey others: our bosses, our parents, our spouses. We have learned to keep control of our emotions and push them down, as far down as possible, which leads to disease, tension, disability and even accidents. Sometimes life causes us to wake up through something that will catch our attention, make us feel again. It may be highly disagreeable, even more painful than the original feeling, but it gets our attention, and then we have a choice.
Are you going to take this opportunity to heal this pain, or are you going to just push through?
You can’t push yourself forever. At some point, you’re going to need to rest. You’re going to need to feel. Those emotions will come back, they will find you.
Dont’ be afraid of your feelings, of your emotions. They are there to guide you. If you are upset, admit that you are upset. Don’t push it down. Find a way to talk about it. If you are scared, be scared. Don’t pretend you are happy. Happiness will come only when you face your fears and find a way to transform, not pushing them away or denying.
Daily Miracle Practice
Feel your heart. What is inside? What is it saying to you? Is there someone you need to talk to? Are you lonely or sad? Do you need someone to lean on? Do you need a guide?
Let yourself feel. Then ask for what you need.
Our hearts grow bigger and stronger when we listen to their needs.
Go deep inside, and then find the answer. It will come to you.
Daily Miracle Prayer
Dear God, I am afraid of how I feel. I don’t know what to do about it. I feel like I will not be able to handle it. I’m afraid that others will not be able to handle it! Please give me the courage to accept how I feel and do something about it. Help me feel my heart and learn to express it. Let it be my friend and guide. Thank you. Amen.
Daily Miracle Blessing
There is a beautiful soul in you. A beautiful heart that has been wounded with time. Let me hold it in my hands and heal you. Let me help you release those feelings and judgements about yourself, and feel what it feels like to be loved.
From a book in progress, Krista’s Daily Book of Miracles, Day 13 of 365, published as a preview, under Copyright 2019 Krista Marie Moore
The human heart is so fragile. With a single touch we can melt like butter, and with a careless word we can easily shatter. We can even feel differently from one moment to another. Our hearts can seem frail, and yet are very powerful.
Part of showing up with others is just being yourself. When you’re raw, feel you’ve made a mistake, or have gone through something difficult, it can feel like being peeled from the inside out. It takes courage to show up as you are. And it takes a lot of love to meet someone where they are.
When there is chaos or confusion, when you don’t look your best, when you feel like crying instead of celebrating, it’s time to get cozy with one or two good friends. To take the masks off and let it all out. Holding that space for someone else can be a challenge, but with love, it feels like a mother nurturing a child. To be in that space being held is even harder, if we are not used to it; if we are used to being in charge or the one who helps. To be vulnerable, to not feel on top of things, to not know how we are going to make it, or what is going to happen, can be a very scary place. But with Love, anything is possible.
I have been in that space of love for someone else, and I have also been that person being held with the eyes of love. When two or more people gather, there is great power. It can feel like the world is coming to an end, and at the same time, like it’s just beginning. Our vulnerability makes us stronger. Our tears can heal us if we let them. Our friends can be there for us, if we are willing to be seen in a state of uncertainty or need.
God is like that too. We may think “Oh, I’ve really screwed up this time!” or doubt that He even exists at all. But in those vulnerable moments is when the true generosity of God is known. Through our tears, real tenderness in our hearts is grown. We can begin to feel safe, that we are loveable, and that we will always have His Love.
Daily Miracle Prayer
God, I don’t know where I’m going. I feel so out of control. I feel so vulnerable, so raw. I need you now more than ever. Please show me your Love. Please love me as I am. Amen.
Daily Miracle Blessing
There is nothing more beautiful than your smile, than your shining face. Through your tears and laughter I hold you. I will never abandon you. Come to me more. Come as you are.