• Evening star
    LIFE,  SPIRITUALITY

    Finding Hope in An Evening Star

    A single star shimmers in the glow out my window during evening meditation, perfectly placed by an invisible hand.

    I dwell inside, praying and meditating while fellow house-dwellers make distant sounds from their music and TVs, during the quarantine.

    I wonder why I never noticed that star before? I have sat here many times, but usually reading with the lights on. Tonight I am practicing abstaining from TV, feeling more and more of my body, in this place and time, at this unprecedented time in history.

    COVID 19 spreads quickly and governments react daily with more restrictions, death counts. It doesn’t feel real, in this country, but it is here just as much as anywhere else. I do this meditation for the hope I feel, to contribute something.

    I return to my breathing, feeling the blood moving through me so fast, humming, a marvel. The Spirit embodies the breath, or the breath, the body. It moves quickly, imperceptively. To find it you have to slow down, stay with it. The mind finds the star again.

    I want to believe the star means something. That it has a message for me.

    I feel convicted that I need to stop making more of this than it is. And start noticing things like my breath. Like the invisible hand, the imperceptible.

    But I can’t stop noticing the beauty all around me!

    I’ve already lost the star in my study of it, talking about it! When I first noticed it, it was an instant aha! Beauty. Appreciation. No content. No analysis. Just the star and me. When I put words to it, it lost its mystery. Its beauty.

    I return to the star. And breathe. Can I just sit and be with the star?

    I can’t do it!!

    In my mal-adjusted, socially addicted, reactive nature, I cannot cope without some kind of interactivity – some kind of interpretation, conversation, with myself, with you, and the ineffable. Maybe this is my reality!

    I am a human being. I contemplate such things. Meaning. Starlight. Beauty. Existence. Time. My spiritual practice takes me into the depths. It is never a silence for me, but an ongoing conversation, a gallery! I cannot stop moving – my heart, my feelings, my breath. I want to know more, experience more, express all I see! All I can be!

    The star has shifted. It seems to have fallen in the sky outside my window. I am worried that I have “talked” this whole time, and might lose the star! But I haven’t lost the star. Because the star means something to me. And who knows that that star is not contemplating me?!

    My love of life includes all of creation as I gaze inwardly and outwardly – to me, they are all connected. My inner vision comes from what I see, and what I cannot see. I am stirred by God’s invisible hand guiding me: Look, see! Here I am, in the mystery of things.

    P.S. I couldn’t resist getting a Star Finder app and found my star in the constellation of Aries. Like I child I will never give up hope for humanity or grow tired of learning and discovering!

  • LIFE

    Experiencing Overwhelming Gratitude

    Is it possible to transform your life, attitude and understanding in such a way as to feel overwhelming gratitude?

    This is what has happened to me. After trying to forcibly change my circumstances for years and finding myself at the same point as I began, I realized God was trying to awaken me – not to reject the life I had, but to embrace it, feed it, nurture it and love it.

    Many years ago I inherited a garden. But I was not in any way a gardener. In fact, I was the most neglectful and unappreciative person imaginable. I justified this by saying I was not the gardening type. I had other plans. I was busy inventing more important things to do and dream of. My own garden took the wrap and much of it did not survive.

    After suffering from depression and seeing the misery I had inflicted on my garden as the perfect mirror for my attitude about life, I decided to get some help – other gardeners who could help me tend to it, and they taught me so much. At first, I resented the work and joked around about it like it didn’t matter. But as I saw it transform, and as I learned that it was not as hard as I thought – and that even when it was hard it was soooo worth it, I began to live in a different land.

    Welcome to my garden. It is the product of much work, love and care. It began with helping hands and has been tended, redesigned and evolved into my own loving work of art. Beauty represents my new life. The gratitude I feel for living, and for tending God’s creation with reverence and awe.

    I dwell in a paradise on earth of our own making – I was given the raw materials: tools, people, a chisel, and sculpted this from the earth. God provided all the trees and bushes and flowers. I planted and pulled weeds, stared, rearranged, and watered a lot.

    And now I feel that I am a new creation as well. God planted me, and he worked a miracle in me, to turn what was dying into something new and beautiful. Something kind, gentle and soft; and also, strong, majestic and lasting.

    Thank you, God, for sharing your garden with me. I hope I have done you proud. I feel overwhelming gratitude for the life bestowed onto me, and for the work I do. Thank you. And thank you for the loved ones who have loved me along, and sculpted, along with you, my character into something closer to you. Amen.

    If you are in need of a new garden, a new lease on life, begin by asking for God’s help. He will either send you people, tools, or the will to decide to do things differently yourself. Whatever way you go, begin now. And each day, each season, you will see where you are growing into where you want to go!

  • BOOK OF MIRACLES,  LIFE

    Day 4 When Your Heart Breaks

    Daily Miracle Message

    Sometimes it is difficult to move forward when you’re heart is broken beyond repair. We’ve all been through those heartbreaks, sudden changes, calamities, crises. They come, and we are disillusioned, confused, shattered. It doesn’t seem that anything will ever be the same. 

    It won’t!

    There is a reason why our heart breaks when we say good-bye to something or someone we once knew. Sometimes we have to let go to make way for the new. And sometimes something has to let go of us in order for us to do what we came to do. No matter what the reason, our heart still quakes or breaks, whether it was the right thing at the time or not. We still need to heal.

    No one wants to hear that it will get better. But it will. My life has taken a 180 so many times, I could never believe that it would be as good as it is today, when I was going through those things at the time. If someone told me 20 years ago that I would raise a family while also leaving my corporate job behind, becoming a writer and an actress, and now a channel, healer and teacher who travels around the world – I would have thought they were off their rocker!

    Instead, my life feels more rock solid, and I sometimes get to feel like a rockstar! 

    No matter how good it can be, though, no one, not me or anyone, gets through this life without suffering, without pain. Whether it is an injury, death of a loved one, breakup or divorce, big move, career change or sudden loss, life is designed to change us, to stretch us, to take us by surprise. 

    But God will never abandon us. We always have a choice. A new dawn. Keep looking. Keep searching. Keep loving. Keep moving on!

    I realize now, human love comes and it goes. But real Love is a commitment to yourself, to God and your chosen path. No matter what happens, Love is always there to find me, even when I am alone. That kind of Love stays with you, and travels wherever you go. 

    New life, new love and opportunities will come again – bigger and better than before. Your heart will  continue to heal and grow. Until one day you will look back and realize how much you have learned, and how much Love you have come to know. 

    Daily Miracle Prayer

    Dear God, let me get over this heartache, this loss, this devastation. My heart is broken. I don’t know how to go on. Please heal my heart and show me your Love is true. That there is still hope for me to feel love again. Please help me to let go of this pain, and live again. Thank you, God. Amen.

    Daily Miracle Blessing

    Let life break you open, and you will see the Light! We are always here to make things right. Take the burden off your shoulders. Give us your tears. Love is always there to find you, and Our Love is here to stay!